253 - Hunting Snipes

With Flashlights

In honor of the great American Tradition of the Snipe Hunt - our quadrennial exercise in upholding the illusion we have an impact upon the destiny of this country. I suppose we kind of do, a bit, but it’s mostly superficial. This year is a bit of an exception.

Late every night this time of year, around 2AM, I circumnavigate the backyard with a flashlight peering under the trees to gather whatever soft, pungent fruit I find (I sarcastically think of this as snipe hunting). If I don’t the clever raccoon I don’t have the heart to poison (because it knows how to take the bait out of traps without springing them) will shred them all like a heavy metal guitarist, leaving gooey patches of orange slop everywhere.